


Going Full Gidget

by Inell



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crushes, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Kissing, M/M, Misunderstandings, Requited Love, Romance, Stiles watches too many old movies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-23 01:36:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6100537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inell/pseuds/Inell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles comes up with a somewhat cliche plan to get Derek's attention.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Going Full Gidget

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tattooedsiren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tattooedsiren/gifts), [PrettyInSoulPunk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyInSoulPunk/gifts).



> tattooedsiren prompted: Stiles/Derek - “I’m personally offended that you didn’t get me to be your fake date.”  
> prettyinsoulpunk #25 - Fake Dating and Sterek!
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy this one! <3

This whole plan is ridiculous. It’s the result of watching too many old movies on cable due to insomnia. Stiles knows he should just text Isaac and call the whole thing off, but he’s already at the coffee shop where they’re supposed to meet, so he figures he’ll wait and just do it in person. Isaac is going to make him pay the promised $150 regardless, after all, because he really is that big of a dick. It’s a good thing he never told Scott about this scheme because he can easily imagine Scott’s disappointed look followed by his best friend laughing his ass off when he realizes Stiles actually stole his idea from a fifties movie about a surfer chick.

It’s pathetic, and he knows it. He wants to blame too many sleepless nights and supernatural drama for making him behave so foolishly. However, it’s his own fault for getting a crush on yet another unattainable person. Only Derek is even more out of his league than Lydia because he’s older, an alpha, super intelligent, and so gorgeous he looks like he’s stepped out of the pages of a fashion magazine. While Lydia is two of those four things, Stiles at least felt like he might have a shot with her if she’d realized how clever he is and could appreciate his sarcastic sense of humor. As it is, he’d been right about them getting along well, but he’d been wrong about the chemistry being the lover kind because it’s definitely more the platonic kind. They work really well being good friends.

Meanwhile, Derek doesn’t even seem to consider him a friend. He tolerates Stiles because of Scott and the rest of the pack. They work well together, and Stiles tries to treat him like a friend, albeit an incredibly smoking one who is often the subject of his jerk off fantasies at night, but Derek is always abrupt with him. Not rude, but not friendly, either. He just gets awkward, sometimes shy, always quiet and staring. He also smirks too much and looks amused, not in a good way, whenever Stiles starts getting flustered or clumsy around him. Since Derek doesn’t seem to be attracted to him at all, this whole plot is pointless anyway.

Derek isn’t James Darren, and Stiles definitely isn’t Sandra Dee.

Isaac is a good-looking guy, even if he’s a douche, and he seemed like the best option when Stiles let his sleepless brain come up with this idea. Of course, there’s no way that Derek’s going to be jealous of his own beta, and he’d have to actually see Stiles as something more than an annoying human he reluctantly hangs out with his pack to even be jealous in the first place. Not to mention the fact that Stiles and Isaac totally have the whole frenemy thing perfected, and Derek knows they’re not going to suddenly be into each other. It’s such a stupid plan. Stiles is never speaking of this to anyone, especially not Lydia who would totally judge him and find him lacking in the brains department for even thinking this might work.

“Stiles, if you keep fidgeting, you’re going to knock the table over.”

The cappuccino that he’s sipping goes down the wrong way, and he coughs as he stares up at Derek’s smirking face. “Derek,” he manages to say after his choking subsides. “Fancy meeting you here. Have a sudden hankering for some java?”

“Yes, I’ve suddenly developed a fondness for coffee that hasn’t previously existed for twenty-three years,” Derek deadpans. He shows off his cup. “Hot chocolate.”

“It’s summer.” Stiles arches a brow. “You suddenly wanted hot chocolate with,” he narrows his eyes to read the scrawl on the cup, “extra whipped cream and sprinkles on the warmest day we’ve had so far this year?”

“What can I say? I’m complex,” Derek says dryly, pulling out the chair opposite Stiles and sitting down.

“Uh, yeah. Sure. Go ahead and sit down,” Stiles mutters, glancing at the door then the clock on his phone before looking back at Derek. Issac’s late. Fucking asshole. He shifts in his chair, tapping his fingers against the glass mug in front of him. “So, are you still planning to attend Lydia’s party tonight?”

“Waiting for someone?” Derek arches a brow, lips curled ever so slightly in amusement. “I wasn’t entirely sure if I’d end up going, being around a bunch of recent high school graduates getting drunk at the lake isn’t necessarily my scene even if the majority of them are my pack, but it looks like I’ll be showing up, after all.”

“Oh, that’s good.” Stiles is relieved because his plan with Isaac depends on Derek actually being at the party to see him with a hot guy who is trying to make out with him. God, that’s another reason he really shouldn’t have chosen Isaac. Derek knows Isaac isn’t going to want to make out with Stiles, and Isaac probably wouldn’t agree anyway, not even for $150. Not that he’s going through with this stupid plan. He looks at the door again, wishing Isaac would hurry up.

“Yes, it should be entertaining,” Derek drawls, licking whipped cream off his upper lip. Stiles doesn’t stare (he totally does), and Derek just looks at him. “It isn’t often I get paid to attend a party, so I’m looking forward to it.”

“Paid?” Stiles blinks. “Who’s paying you to go to Lydia’s party? Dude, are you working as an escort? Is that how you pay for everything? I mean, no judgment here, sex workers are awesome people who deserve better rights and supportive laws, but you never go anywhere unless it’s with the pack.”

Derek snorts. “I’m not an escort, Stiles. Well, actually, I guess I am tonight, in an odd way, since I’ll be paid to accompany someone to the party, but it’s more like a job.” He frowns before he shakes his head, the amused smile crossing his lips again as he stares directly into Stiles’ eyes. “For the record, I’m personally offended that you didn’t get me to be your fake date.”

“My what?” Stiles feels warmth rush through his face, fully aware that he’s blushing due to embarrassment. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Allison asked Isaac to go to the party with her. He decided a date with her outweighed your little arrangement,” Derek says lazily. “I decided to step in to help you out.”

“No way.” Stiles frowns because Derek is smirking at him, like he totally knows this is some ploy to get his attention and is now just going to torture Stiles for even _thinking_ Derek might be interested in someone like him. “I’m going to kill him.”

Derek’s smile fades. “Do you know who he had lined up to take his place, Stiles? _Peter_! I couldn’t very well sit back and let that happen, so you’re stuck with me. Unless you no longer need to go through with this nonsense?”

Isaac is definitely getting murdered. Or at least maimed. Badly. Peter? Seriously? That’s his genius solution for a replacement when he knows Stiles wants to make someone jealous to see if maybe he can get a date? Stiles frowns at Derek, who is looking a little too smug, like he totally knows he’s the person Stiles wants to make jealous. Of course he does. He can probably smell Stiles’ obvious attraction anytime they’re together, and it’s a running joke about Stiles being weirder than usual around people he’s infatuated with. Still, it bothers him, and he shakes off the besotted stupidity that takes over his mind around Derek and focuses on changing the plan.

“No, I’m not calling it off,” he decides. “Did Isaac give you the details?”

“You really don’t need to do all this, you know?” Derek rolls his eyes when Stiles just looks at him. “He said there’s some guy you’re into that you want to make jealous. It’s $150 to go to Lydia’s party with you and be affectionate.”

“That means you’ll have to sit with me, dance with me, and kiss me,” Stiles points out, watching curiously as Derek ducks his head before looking up from beneath lowered lashes. God, he’s gorgeous.

“I know. That’s why I wasn’t going to sit there and let Peter do it.” Derek makes a face. “He’s obsessed enough with you without adding affection to the mix. Fake or otherwise.”

This is even stupider than the original plan. Stiles runs his fingers through his hair when he realizes that, somehow, he _has_ become Sandra Dee. Well, not her, but Gidget. This is totally like the plot of that corny movie. And, sure, he got caught up in the whole sweet romance of it and might have been grinning like an idiot at the end and been inspired to totally steal her plot for his own nefarious Derek seduction purposes, but this is his real life. He isn’t a tiny cute blonde surfer, and things like this aren’t supposed to actually happen in real life.

“Ow.” He frowns down at his arm where he’s just pinched himself. Well, that answers the whole ‘is it just a twisted dream caused by poor planning anxiety’ question. This is real, and Derek is actually sitting across from him ready to be his paid fake date for the night which is meant to make Derek jealous. Of himself. Stiles groans because this is giving him a headache. No more late night classic movie marathons. Never again.

“So, who is it we’re making jealous?” Derek leans across the table and smiles smugly, his beautiful eyes distracting Stiles for a moment.

“Like you don’t know,” Stiles mutters, wondering for a moment if he’s actually repeating dialogue from that damn movie now. It’s official. Infatuation and insomnia have driven him crazy. The Nogitsune didn’t manage it, but Stiles managed to do it to himself.

“I have my suspicions,” Derek drawls, his pointer finger drawing circles on the table as he looks at Stiles.

Stiles figures if this is his life now, he’s going to go full Gidget. He focuses on wiping that smug smile off Derek’s handsome face, and that helps get him past the nervous energy he tends to feel around his crush. “I know you’ll definitely make Danny jealous,” Stiles says confidently. “Now that he knows you aren’t my cousin Miguel, it’ll be totally fine for me to be dating you, and he’s going to realize I’m a catch because someone as hot as you is interested in me.”

“What?” Derek sits back, eyes narrowing, nostrils flaring. “Danny? You’re trying to make Danny jealous?”

“Of course.” Stiles flutters his eyelashes. “Who else would it be? Danny’s perfect.” The best part of it is that he can make that statement without Derek hearing the lie because Danny really _is_ perfect. For someone else, not for Stiles, but Derek doesn’t have to know that.

“Perfect?” Derek snarls slightly before he pushes his chair back and stands up. “Well, come on. We’d better get going. Wouldn’t want to keep Mr. Perfect waiting.”

“Now, honey bun, you have to be sweeter to me,” Stiles points out, biting his lip to keep from smiling when Derek gives him a dirty look. “After all, that’s what I’m paying you for.”

“If you call me that again, I’m going to rip your throat out with my teeth,” Derek says sweetly, eyes flashing red before he turns around and stalks out of the coffee shop.

Stiles laughs when the door shuts because he’s actually enjoying this now that he’s decided to just ignore his unrequited feelings and focus on making sure Derek doesn’t realize how he feels so he can avoid that particular humiliation. He hurries to catch up to Derek, opening the door the Camaro and sliding in. “It isn’t very romantic to leave without me, sugar bunch.”

“You bought a fake date, Stiles. You didn’t buy romance and cutesy nicknames,” Derek tells him in a tone that is slightly hurtful. “You’re having to pay to get some guy to notice you, to want you. You’re trying to make him jealous to get his attention because you can’t get it unless he thinks you’re dating someone else, yet you still call this asshole perfect? If he was perfect, he’d realize how special you are without this absurd scheme even being necessary.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not an underwear model like you, and I’m not sunshine personified like Scott, and I’m not rich and pretty like Jackson or tall and angelic like Isaac. I have to pay someone to date me. I get it. I’m a pathetic loser, and there’s no way the guy I want will even notice me,” he says, shaking his head and glaring out the side window as they drive to Lydia’s lake house.

Derek growls softly. “You don’t even listen, do you? You’re the most infuriating person I’ve ever met.” He drives faster. “Maybe _perfect Danny_ won’t notice you, but there are other guys out there who will, who think you’re smart and gorgeous. Other guys who want you just like you are, without needing stupid fake date jealousy plans to get their attention. You aren’t a pathetic loser, Stiles.”

“Ha!” Stiles rubs his hand over his face. “What would you call this? I stole a cheesy plot point out of an old movie, Derek. I’m paying $150 to get a date because the man I want doesn’t look at me and see someone attractive and dateable, and definitely doesn’t think gorgeous when he looks at me. No, he looks at me and sees some annoying pest who is barely tolerable. I know it’s pathetic, okay? I was going to call the whole thing off when Isaac showed up anyway because I realized it was stupid.”

“Then maybe you need to find another man!” Derek is gripping the steering wheel tight, his shoulders tense and his jaw clenched when Stiles looks at him after the rather loud outburst. Derek suddenly sighs, his shoulders slumping. “Sorry. I just…I thought…you seemed to…but it’s Danny instead. I was wrong.”

“Wrong about what?” Stiles stares at him, replaying their conversation in his mind. His eyes suddenly widen. “Wait. You think I’m special? _Me_? You don’t even like me much.”

“What?” Derek glances at him, lips pursed. “Who said I don’t like you? Do you think I’d let you be part of my pack, part of my _life_ , if I didn’t like you? Your stuff is piled all over my house. You’re always my partner on stakeouts and stuff. Hell, I let you sleep in my bed when you crash at the house. My _betas_ don’t even sleep in my bed.”

What the hell? Stiles is reeling a little more with every word Derek says. Sure, they’re always partnered up, but that’s because things just work out that way. And, yeah, he leaves stuff at Derek’s house because he’s over there a lot, especially now that he’s graduated high school and getting ready to go the police academy in the fall. Besides that, Derek had it built with the pack in mind, so everyone leaves stuff there to make it homier. Okay, yes, Stiles’ stuff definitely dominates everyone else’s, but it’s because he’s there all the time. Hello! Huge crush slash serious feels for Derek and awesome newly built house. Like he could stay away?

“I just assumed,” he admits. “You’re always different with me than the rest of the pack. You aren’t as relaxed, and you rarely smile at me, and it sometimes feels like you’re only tolerating me because of everyone else.”

“To be so smart, you’re not very observant,” Derek mutters, the tips of his ears turning red as he turns onto the road that leads to the lake house. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter because you want Danny, even if he doesn’t deserve you because you’re having to go to all this trouble just to get his attention.”

“What doesn’t matter?” Stiles is starting to put things together, and he doesn’t really believe the answer he’s coming up with, but what if he’s right? “Why do you think I’m not observant?”

“Can we not?” Derek refuses to look at him, but Stiles notices the way he tightens his grip on the steering wheel. “We’re almost there, and I’ll help you get Danny’s attention, even if I think you deserve better, because that’s what friends do. I’ll be the best fake boyfriend you’ve ever had.”

“You’re the only fake boyfriend I’ve ever had,” Stiles says quietly, chewing on his bottom lip as he thinks about everything. Finally, he decides to just say to hell with it and take a chance. “I lied. It wasn’t Danny that I want to make jealous. I wanted to make _you_ jealous. Only not really jealous. I just wanted to make you actually look at me and realize that I’m eighteen now, that I’ve grown up, that I’m not the same annoying pest you first met three years ago.”

Derek stops the car in the middle of the winding road to Lydia’s, putting it into park and then getting out. Stiles stares for a moment before he gets out, too. Derek is pacing and running his fingers through his hair before he stops and starts walking towards Stiles. Stiles isn’t sure if he’s about to get punched or what, so he’s a little tense even if he thinks Derek isn’t the type to punch someone who admits being attracted to him.

“You’re an idiot!” Derek grabs the front of Stiles’ shirt and pulls him against him, leaning his head to press his mouth against Stiles’ lips. Stiles is too shocked to do anything, at first, then he gets with the program. He reaches up to grip the back of Derek’s neck as he moves his lips against Derek’s. When Derek pulls back from the kiss, he blinks at Stiles, face slightly flushed and lips wet. “I know you’re grown up, Stiles. I’ve wanted to do that since it was illegal for me to even consider it, and I was waiting for you to graduate, to possibly sow your oats so you’d be ready for a real relationship, before telling you how I feel.”

“The only oats I want to sow are with you, dumbass,” Stiles points out. “I’d also like to mention that kissing me when I was seventeen wouldn’t actually be illegal, but I understand why you’d want to wait until I was eighteen, considering my dad and everything.”

“I didn’t just want to kiss you, Stiles,” Derek murmurs, smirking when Stiles inhales sharply at that confession. “It was a matter of self-control. I had to wait because I knew I wouldn’t want to let you go once I had a taste.”

“But you agreed to be my fake date knowing there might be kissing involved?” Stiles arches a brow. “You totally knew that you were my target, didn’t you?”

“I had hoped.” Derek shrugs a shoulder. “I didn’t actually know or else I wouldn’t have spent most of the car ride here imagining all the different ways I could kill Danny for making you feel so bad about yourself.”

“Danny’s innocent. I, uh, I just decided to go full Gidget since it seemed I was already playing her only in real life.” Stiles smiles sheepishly.

“What’s a Gidget?” Derek looks confused.

“Don’t worry about it.” Stiles laughs and leans up to kiss him. “So, do you think you’d wanna be my _real_ boyfriend?”

“Hmm. I don’t know.” Derek licks Stiles’ mouth and sucks on his bottom lip. “How much are you willing to pay?”

Stiles snorts. “Asshole. I only pay for fake boyfriends. The real ones have to want to be around me for free. Or I can pay in kisses.”

“Eh, I think I can handle that then. I’ve got a trust fund, after all, and your kisses are priceless.” Derek smiles, rubbing their noses together before he kisses him again. “I’m going to be the best _real_ boyfriend you’ve ever had, Stiles.”

“Yeah, you will,” Stiles agrees, kissing Derek as he’s lifted up and sat on the hood of the Camaro. As he parts his lips and the kiss deepens, he decides that maybe it wasn’t such a bad plan, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me on [Tumblr](http://inell.tumblr.com)
> 
> If you enjoy it, please comment/kudos!


End file.
